This really isn’t fair. I announced a little earlier that the pack of ciggies will likely run out by tomorrow morning, and was horrified at the response.
“You’d better get yourself another pack, then.”
“Yer wot?”
“Get yourself another pack. You’ve been a helluva lot happier, so keep it down to the same level for a while and see how it goes.”
That is almost precisely the opposite of what I’d expected. And, honestly, the opposite of what I’d wanted.
The sad fact is that it’s true. I do feel happier, and fitter. My left leg which has been grossly swollen for months now was reduced almost to normal when I woke this morning and has stayed more or less the same, or better, all day. I was able to put my own shoes on when we went shopping and by the time we got back I was still hopping along merrily, my foot free of pain and hardly swollen at all.
It’s pointless trying to determine whether I feel better psychologically. Of course I do. It’s a pesky psychoactive drug, like it or not. But I shall be suspicious of my motives if I persuade myself to think I’m better off smoking than not.
I’ve been popping out to stand in the garden at irregular intervals throughout the day, taking a jolly good toke on another of the silly suicide tubes, and coming back inside until the next urge, generally about 50-90 minutes apart.
Each time I feel a little better for it. Sometimes I feel really better for it.
I know perfectly well that the effect on my lungs will begin to tell once more if I don’t stop. If past experience is to be trusted I know perfectly well that I have sufficient will-power to stop instantly, when I wish, as I wish.
For the moment, though, it feels good.
Hey ho. Pillow consultation time is not too far away. Dinner will come first, though, and I have the satisfaction of knowing that a ciggie after dinner will feel so good it’ll bring tears to my eyes.
Like I say, this really isn’t fair.
John, the US drug company, Pzifer, makes a product designed to assist in quitting smoking called the Nicotrol Inhaler. It’s a little plastic mouthpiece gizmo into which one places a capsule containing nicotine. The idea is that you you get the nicotine without the smoke.
Might be worth asking your physician about it as a way to balance the apparent benefits of the nicotine without going the full-monty back into smoking.
And no, this delivery system does not have all the joys that we get from real smoking. By the same token, it doesn’t have all the detriments–and you can use it indoors when the weather is lousy.
Don’t-don’t-don’t! My worse nightmares involve starting to smoke again. Quitting was the hardest thing I ever did, and I enjoyed every ciggie I ever had. I know I am never going to be slim and sylph-like again, especially at 68, but at least smoking won’t subract any years.
Oh John, I’m so sorry you’re enjoying your smoking. I quit when I developed asthma, and breathing was more important to me so quitting was easy then. But I still have the asthma. I sometimes wish for a ciggie, but not enough to get one and the urge passes quickly and doesn’t come around again for a long time. Chocolate is safer.
Oh my ~ cigarettes and chocolate…lets add some wine to that list.
My Grandfather smoked like a chimney till he passed away at the age of 89, from sudden bout of heart failure. I don’t know, he seemed awfully lucky to me, he enjoyed smoking till he died and he died a sudden, painless death at a respectably old age. My Grandfather’s experience lends credence to the theory that happiness is the main ingredient of a long and healthy life.
Hi John,
I’m a smoker, but even if I wasn’t, I’d just offer this: have you considered whether it could be the stepping out at regular smoking intervals, or maybe something else that’s going along with the smoking, that has made you feel better physically? Who knows, there may well be something about it chemically that has done just the right thing for your particular body chemistry. But you seem a bit suspect, and I would be, too.
I’ll just go whole hog here and offer a personal experience which you may appreciate: I had to quit for an elective surgery, two months before, and a month after. I had to be cleared for surgery by a consult with a lung doctor, and he scheduled follow-up a few months after my surgery.
At the follow-up, I went thru the whole battery of lung function tests, same as pre-op. Oh the gleam in the doctor’s eye when he said, “See there? Look how fantastic this improvement has been since just after you first quit!” Oh, the gleam in MY eye when I reported that I’d started back shortly after the “compulsory” quit time elapsed and had been back smoking a couple of months by then. Lung function improved! Go figger.
Smokers know it’s filthy and generally unhealthy better than anyone. As Dr. Phil might ask, “How’s that working for you, then?” For whatever reason it’s working on some level for you now. I wish you all the best going forward, whatever you do.
And I’m glad you have some relief from that slate of painful symptoms!
Be well, take care,
Kathy
A true story. One of my mother’s friends developed jaundice. His doctor asked him if he smoked. He said he didn’t and the doctor advised him to start. His system needed a shock.
Your system may now have had the shock it needed and perhaps you could stop now, or not. My mother happily smoked until she died at age 85.
I stopped smoking because of asthma and havn’t stopped coughing since.
I wonder what the docs would say about it helping your legs? Seems strange that it does. Or maybe it’s the fresh air. lol
I’m so pleased to hear that your leg and foot are much better. It is such a relief, I’m sure. You are a grown up and know very well what works for you. Rock on.
Try a nicotine patch.But do ask the doctor for an explaination.You must be feeling better if your better half told you to carry on!
It’s very strange how this is playing out, John. I’m awed that your swelling went down. I agree that talking about it with your doctor is a good idea, bearing in mind that his opinion is just that, an opinion, but an educated one.
{{{{{Hugs}}}}} ~ Sil
Leave a message for your doc and tell him what happened. Maybe a nicotine patch will have the same effect on your leg but leave your arteries alone.
As the daughter of a woman who died from smoking-related esophageal cancer, which was horrid, gross, grotesque, distusting, and downright nasty, please do NOT resume smoking, John. Dying from this disease is not a nice way to go out, and we, your friends, would rather have you here longer… I plead with you.
…if it makes you happy….
Shortly after my mother passed away my father was talking about stopping drinking and stopping his use of smokeless tobacco. My brother and I told him that he should continue to enjoy wine and beer and tobacco — at 83 years of age — and deprived of the love and companions of a marriage that had lasted more than half a century — why should he deprive himself of these things that he enjoyed?
You, however, are a lot younger than my father and you and Graham do have each other… so I would not give you the same advice I had given my father.