I can’t pull my socks on any more. There. I’ve said it. The hardest part of advancing thingummies is actually recognizing and then admitting that you’ve reached another milestone on the path to dissolution.
Used to be I’d practically dance into my socks on the way out of the door, and eat a slice of toast at the same time. Now I have to plan the operation, gird my whatsits to it, and then stick at it until the job gets done, ending up in a panting heap of blubber, wondering if socks are really worth the effort.
So. There’s these plastic card things, all white tape and geriontalist, that you slide into your sock, leaving a cavity ready to take your foot. Push, pull, twist, twiddle, and there you are, all done. All you need do to finish is fold the device up and stow it in your sock drawer ready for next time; soon enough the plastic will craze and the white tape will go yellow and wrinkled and redolent of old man’s foot.
I think it was my friend Bonnie first told me the bit of wisdom about how growing old isn’t for the faint of heart. Or something like that, anyway.
Never heard a truer word.
ooh dear, I am still laughing at this.
I struggle with my pantyhose (tights), daily. Sometimes I give up, and put the false tan stuff on my legs, and just go on….
It’ s a matter of moving “stuff” to the side, that gets me
Well, now I’m sitting here killing myself laughing, all the time knowing what a perfect description this is of, I suspect, all too many of us. It’s the extra ‘pillow’ out front so many of us start sporting in our latter years. Makes it almost impossible to nake your arns stretch far enough to insert toes into sox which someone (you) are holding waaaay too far away to reach! I generally rally myself by saying, “C’mon, dear, you KNOW you can do this!” And, eventually I do. Old age is, indeed, NOT for sissies! And being stubborn as h— really IS helpful.
Socks haven’t been worth the effort for the last 5 years. I wear boots, lined, when footwear is required. The boots are slip ons.
Too true, growing old is not for wimps! My problem is arthritis, which makes it hard to get hands to feet, but the wool socks I knit are much easier to get on than other types. Plus the knitting helps my hands’ flexibility. There’s always one d………… thing after another.
I think Wayne’s solution is probably the one for me. Graham tells me that if I dare go out without socks he’ll have to kill me. But if I wear boots… he may relent!
Actually, socks can provide a notable exercise even at the age of 34. I would also prefer writing a master’s thesis in ancient philosophy to daily puzzlement over the question, which two black socks amongst the hundred really form a pair. Socks are devious and deceitful creatures.
My 92-year-old Dad tries to avoid the socks, but he knows I won’t let him go out in his felt slippers. He balances his feet on the recliner thingy and manages the socks. Sadly, he just can’t manage the toe nail clipping. I’m not much of a pedicurist and feel bad for that. When he could still drive he’d stop by a nail salon and have them do it! Actually he *could* theoretically still drive if I’d let him.
Hoooo – I’m with the rest of the bunch, still laughing! (although, not for long…) I bent over the other day and thought – ‘Gee – what’s going on here’???
I’ve found another way the growing old body complains. Express Jets! The older or fatter or both cannot climb over the arm to stand up to trot to the lavatory! (not me the poor bugger across the aisle today)
Yep I landed today!
Oh, I am so sorry. I do so understand. I can put one sock on still. The other requires assistance.
Condolences on the socks. The visiting girl-cat has been hard on mine, taking them out of the hamper and tearing holes in them (miserable little beast!). It’s a good thing her ‘daddy’ gave me $2oo to cover expenses for the month. There’s also a problem with the washing machine, due to her dumping all my recycling into the back of it. Spin cycle made a terrible noise as it tore up plastic jugs.
Hugs from Corea, ~ Sil
John-Boy: You have certainly hit the jackpot today with the socks thing. It is my 88th birthday today, and I got my exercise laughing! I go to an arthritis exercise group at our Council on Aging every Thursday, and last week, on my request, our instructor gave us sock suggestions. Your plastic device is considered cheating. Apparently a good choice is to lie on your back, on the bed, raise your feet in the air and work from below!! Good luck, John, and know you have many international fellow sufferers. BJ
Oy, John and your sock-challenged readers, you have given me yet one more thing about growing older NOT to look forward to!
Thanks to BJ above for the tip about lying on the bed. I shall try that one tomorrow. I can also do one foot (the right one) fine, but due to a cantankerous left hip problem, that left sock takes the life out of me each morning. I can’t wait now for the morning to come so I can see if the bed-position works!